Growing up in Port Harcourt, in Nigeria’s Niger Delta region, I learned early that survival required strength, assertiveness, and unwavering determination. In a country where we drilled our own boreholes for water, bought generators for electricity, and paid for healthcare out of pocket, resilience wasn’t just a virtue, it was a necessity.
Those qualities became part of who I am. They carried me through the challenges of moving to a new country, through moments of defeat and frustration, through obstacles in the workplace, and moments of doubt.
They later became the very tools I leaned on when I started rebuilding my confidence and leadership through Dress for Success Vancouver’s programs.My path seemed predetermined: like most Nigerian parents, mine expected me to become a lawyer, doctor, or engineer. I chose chemical and petrochemical engineering, drawn by the promise of stability in Nigeria’s oil industry. However, with that choice came dangers I never anticipated. I found myself on boats navigating waters where militants fought for community oil resources, where the sound of gunfire was part of the job. Those moments forged my grit, but they also taught me that sometimes the very strength that helps you survive can become the obstacle to your growth.
The Turning Point: When Strength Becomes Vulnerability
When our economy collapsed and kidnapping became a daily threat, when our own nanny attempted to kidnap our child, my husband and I made the heart-wrenching decision to leave everything behind for Canada. We traded our support system, our familiar roles, and our established careers for the promise of safety for our three young sons.Arriving in Canada, I discovered something unsettling: the assertiveness that had been my superpower in Nigeria was perceived as a liability here. Within five weeks of arriving, I secured my first job and brought the same determination that had carried me through dangerous oil fields. But when I spoke up about a scheduling agreement with my manager, I was laid off the following Monday. The excuse was COVID-related downsizing, but I knew my directness had played a role.This pattern repeated itself, in another company. I thrived for three years, but my trauma from previous layoffs made me withdraw, then overcompensate, leading to another termination. Each time, I found myself caught between being true to myself and fitting into a workplace culture I didn’t fully understand.
The Moment of Clarity: Seeing New Possibilities
After my third layoff, sitting in that HR office with a box of tissues offered for tears I refused to shed, something profound happened. Drawing on my deep faith, I told the HR manager that things always work out for my good, even when they seem negative, because I believe that God has a plan for my life, even in the darkest moments. She pulled up her sleeve and showed me a tattoo: “Obstacles are the path to beautiful destinations.” In that moment, I felt God speaking to me through her words, confirming that my struggles weren’t punishments, they were preparations for something greater.
In this moment, it was my faith that gave me the strength to keep believing when everything seemed hopeless. While I felt deflated and anxious, somewhere deep inside, my trust in my faith anchored me. I held onto the promise that my future would be brighter than I had even hoped for.
It was shortly after this that I found Dress for Success Vancouver, and the organization became not just a resource, but a lifeline.
After being laid off twice and feeling like my voice was too strong, too assertive for Canadian workplaces, I found hope in an unexpected place, a Nigerian mom’s WhatsApp group. It was there that Tracy, a Dress for Success Vancouver Ambassador, recommended the Professional Women’s Group, now the Working Women’s Group. She understood the unique challenges we faced as immigrant women trying to navigate professional spaces.
The Working Women’s Group became my entry point into this incredible community. It was during those WWG leadership workshops that everything shifted for me. In those Saturday morning sessions, surrounded by other women navigating similar challenges, I learned that strength doesn’t have to be loud, that leadership can be both assertive and inclusive, that my voice could inspire rather than intimidate.
The expert speakers showed me practical ways to channel my natural assertiveness into collaborative leadership, while workplace navigation sessions helped me adapt my communication style without losing my authentic voice. The financial literacy workshops gave me the confidence to negotiate for my worth, and the work-life alignment discussions helped me see that my determination could serve others, not just myself.
These tools weren’t just professional, they were transformational. I learned to balance assertiveness with emotional intelligence, to lead with strength while lifting others up, and to speak my truth in ways that brought people together. For the first time, I wasn’t asked to shrink or soften who I was – I was given the tools to refine and strengthen those qualities so they could open doors rather than close them.
It was also through this program that I was paired with a mentor, Jacqueline, who became instrumental in my transformation. She taught me to pause, breathe, and assess situations objectively rather than jumping to conclusions – a simple lesson, but revolutionary for someone who was always bracing for the next setback. Her guidance helped me see that my quick reactions, while useful for survival, sometimes blocked me from recognizing opportunities or reading workplace dynamics accurately.
The combination of the WWG program and mentorship created the perfect environment for sustainable growth. I learned to slow down, gather information before forming opinions, and stay present instead of projecting past disappointments onto new situations. This emotional intelligence became one of the most valuable tools I gained from Dress for Success Vancouver, reshaping how I approached both work and life.
The Trophy Moment: Stepping Into My Power
When I finally landed my dream job – with a significant pay increase, nearly doubled vacation time, and a role that required the very assertiveness I’d been told to suppress – I knew I had found my place. Yet the moment that truly crystallized my transformation came on my very first day.
During my Employment Suiting, I stumbled upon a treasure: a pair of Salvatore Ferragamo shoes. Slipping them on, I felt possibility. They gave me a sense of elegance and professionalism that reflected the future I was reaching for.
As I walked into my new office wearing them, I felt an alignment I had never known before, as though the strong, determined woman from the Niger Delta of Nigeria was meeting the refined, emotionally intelligent leader I had been striving to become.
In that moment, it wasn’t just about fashion; it was about stepping into my worth, carrying myself with confidence, and realizing that I truly belonged in that space.
Understanding True Economic Empowerment
What I experienced through Dress for Success Vancouver was true economic empowerment.
For me, this is far more than just finding a job or earning a paycheck. It was the profound realization that I had the tools, confidence, and network to create financial stability for myself and be able to contribute to my family’s stability. It meant recognizing my worth in the marketplace and having the skills to articulate and negotiate for it. I moved from a mindset of scarcity, feeling grateful for any opportunity, to one of abundance, where I could make strategic career choices aligned with my values and goals. True economic empowerment was learning that my financial success wasn’t just about me.
Through Dress for Success Vancouver’s programs, I learned how my growth could uplift my children, my family back in Nigeria, and other women in my community. It was the shift from surviving paycheck to paycheck to building wealth, from accepting what was offered to confidently pursuing what I deserved. Most importantly, it meant gaining the financial independence to make choices based on what was right for me and my family, rather than what was merely available. Economic empowerment became the foundation that allowed me to dream bigger, not just for myself, but for the ripple effect I could create in the lives of others.
Stepping Forward: Leadership, Confidence, and Possibility
Dress for Success Vancouver gave me more than clothes; they gave me a continuum of support, addressing the systemic barriers I faced as an immigrant woman, providing mentorship when I felt lost, and most importantly, a community of support when I felt alone that helped me transform my challenges into opportunity.
From the Working Women’s Group sessions to the one-on-one mentorship I received from Jacqueline, I learned to balance my natural assertiveness with emotional intelligence, to lead with strength while lifting others up, and to successfully navigate professional spaces without losing my authentic voice.
I think back to my first day at my dream job, standing in my office wearing those Salvatore Ferragamo shoes from the boutique. In that moment, I wasn’t just stepping into a role, I was stepping into the responsibility of being an economic first responder for my family and community. Just as Tracy had reached out to me through that WhatsApp group, I can now offer guidance, support, and hope to others, showing them what is possible when you have the right tools and community behind you.
Being an economic first responder also means modelling possibility for my children and other women in my community. My children can now see their mother not just surviving but thriving. Other women in my community can witness that professional success doesn’t require abandoning values or our identity.
With the support of Dress for Success Vancouver, I discovered that my greatest perceived weakness, my assertiveness, could become my greatest strength, opening doors not just for me but for those around me. They showed me that possibilities are limitless when you have the right support, tools, and belief in yourself. We can transform our own circumstances, and create a ripple effect that extends far beyond our individual success.
Today, through mentorship, volunteering, and leadership, I continue to pay it forward. I share the lessons I’ve learned, help others navigate barriers, and contribute to a network of women who, like me, are stepping into their potential. Those Salvatore Ferragamo shoes carry the weight and privilege of this responsibility. I walk in them with gratitude, confidence, and the knowledge that my journey is now part of a larger story – one of transformation, empowerment, and the limitless ripple effect that comes from lifting others as you rise.
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Photography by Dani Cruz Photography