My name is Bukkie. I am originally from Nigeria, and lived in South Africa before coming to Canada.
My relocation journey made me realize how my network is my net worth. I had built up a wealth of friends, colleagues and industry acquaintances over the 15 years I lived in South Africa. They were my incredible network, on whom I could count for anything from assisting during family emergencies, to attending professional conferences and traveling together. We had amazing experiences and pursued dreams that have made me who I am today. Some of them worked with me for many years and we grew together throughout our careers. Others were family friends with whom we had been through successes, failures and losses. They were my net worth. When I packed my bags in December of 2019 and left the country that had been my home for 15 years, I was filled with excitement for what the future held for me and my family.
Oh! The new life in Canada.
I thought I had it all planned out. I left my high-flying job in the biggest city in South Africa, in my forties, to relocate to Canada. I was full of optimism. We were moving to Medicine Hat, where my husband would be working, we would be one big happy family. We would make new friends and build our new professional networks. What I did not plan for was the eruption of a worldwide pandemic, two months after we got to Canada.
The Pandemic: The Changing Trajectory of our New Life
I was hardly prepared for the emptiness that this new life would bring.
My early ambition to make new friends turned into the reality I saw before me: an emptiness devoid of a carefully crafted social network. All this, compounded by the isolation that came with a pandemic.
In January 2020, my husband went back to South Africa; he was to return after a couple of months, but he got locked down there. I started a job as an Accountant, but once the pandemic shut-down happened, everyone scaled back on their business activities. The schools closed and I faced long, lonely days and nights, stuck at home with my kids. The lack of social connections drove me crazy. Days rolled into months, gray and very cold with the unforgiving Alberta weather. I would stare out of the window, looking at the snow-laden grounds, with tears in my eyes, my brain filled with recollections of the beautiful life I had back in South Africa. I could not believe how much of an empty hole my life had become. I hardly had anyone to talk to besides my children. I was sad, depressed and horribly lonely.
It Came Time to Make a Choice for Myself
Many times I asked myself “Should I just pack up my bags and go back to South Africa?” No! I would remind myself of my “WHY”, the reason I wanted a new life in Canada and the efforts we had put into our relocation journey. “I am not going back”, I would say to myself.
This went on until June 2020 when I decided to take steps to change my situation. The pandemic was dragging on and I felt it was time to seek new opportunities in Canada. First, I sought a new job, and left Medicine Hat for Surrey in BC, a more metropolitan city that was more like the city I lived in back in Johannesburg, South Africa. The sight and sounds of the busy roads, the skyscrapers and the urban hustle was pleasing to my eyes and ears. I started joining online groups and taking note of where I could connect with people. It was in one of these groups that a woman introduced me to Dress for Success Vancouver’s Professional Women’s Group.
My Turning Point: Dress For Success Professional Women’s Group
I joined the program, and took part in the mentor speed-dating. I connected with Mary right from the start. Having Mary as my mentor has been a real blessing, and I thank Dress for Success Vancouver for the opportunity to learn from her wealth of experience. In our first session, I told her my story and the fact that I was looking to build a new network in Canada. I had a good job, but I lacked the social connections that I was so desperately seeking. She directed me to the Surrey Board of Trade. Her advice was a game-changer for me.
Mary’s suggestion to join the Surrey Board of Trade helped me greatly in achieving my objectives of making new friends and industry connections. I am still involved, and attend programs and events organized by them, taking part in local policy conversations through my participation in their Women in Business committee. With this new network, I have been able to assist my community members to access business opportunities and resources, including a partnership that now supports the annual Metro Vancouver black business expo. My journey with them has not only benefited me but also an entire community. The ripple effect that the Professional Women’s Group has had in my life, and in my community, is immense.
So, thanks to Dress for Success Vancouver, I have succeeded in building a new network and can once again feel my net worth through my network. I have come so far from those early lonely, sad days as a newcomer in Canada.
You can help make more dreams of confidence, community and connection come true by empowering women like Bukkie into good jobs, financial independence and personal success by donating today.